i can be replaced and accept it. hell, i have been ok with it for a while. its when other things happen, to further create a rift, that i like to have mercy on myself and end it quickly as possible. to prevent more pain. deception is poison. but as usual, i weaken my resolve to aleviate anothers pain. or if itll make my friends happy. so fine, i give up another one. take more, bleed me out more, take what little i have left. bu truth of the matter is and always will be, i do not trust. and without trust, there is no friendship. but ill be "friends". but it will be for the others. my "friends" who shouldnt suffer, that i will attempt to bottle